Introductions

Hello,

I've set up so many blogs in my life. But for some reason I could never structure posts, and even then, poor attention span and executive functioning prevented me from writing more than a handful of entries; these were mainly composed of photos with contrived captions that were thought up in a desperate attempt to echo other neurotypical bloggers - not that I truly realised the significance of being neurotypical then.

So this is a starting post . I was diagnosed as autistic in October 2015 at the age of 23. I had managed to muddle my way into a handful of straight As at Sixth Form, a Neuroscience degree from a prestigious university, and then a high-powered job. But something had always coloured my horizon. Why was it I was getting such good grades but falling apart almost when it came to organising the rest of my life. Why did I rely so much on copying other people's mannerisms in even the most casual social situation? My friends were aghast at how, upon discovering a book or film or fashion designer I loved, I would find it consumed me to the point where I didn't want to talk about anything else . It would make me feel content to sit and learn the most obscure and esoteric facts and back stories of my favourite pop bands or film stars . I suppose my laser like focus on more female-coded interests (such as male rock stars or fashion design) could have been overlooked as girlish excitement or idol worship, rather than a sign of an autistic mind at work. My social life was erratic at best but I had a handful of friends (and now a girlfriend !) who joined in laughing with me at my mannerisms (which in turn amuse and frustrate me!) and welcomed my eccentricity. And now I've been formally diagnosed, I'm being allowed the chance to begin a lifelong journey of self acceptance that I had not previously felt deserving of . 

This is where I will write my words which convey more of my mind than spoken language seems to be capable of. It'll be about autism, as that does shape my whole existence , but also other things . My craft projects . Films I enjoy. How my sexuality and gender further shape my place in the world . 

I regularly get phrases stuck in a loop, firing around the fibre optics of my mind. They're sometimes funny, sometimes nonsense, often quotations from something I've heard . "All I see is cornbread". That's Ellen Ripley's first line from 1979's "Alien". Can you tell what one of my rather focussed interests is yet ;-) haha!

A