My voice is too loud and it hurts my throat

A mind that wants to paint in watercolour but can only create images in intense thick oil paints . Which are the ideal medium for many messages but not all. A voice that wants to speak softly and evenly like an old Hollywood actress but my larynx and other parts betray my wishes . I can only exclaim loudly, in a tone of voice that doesn't sound natural . My voice is too loud and hurts my throat . "Use your indoor voice" . It is impossible .